Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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