I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
