When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
MIDGETS
????
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
