if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
