The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize