At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
foreskin is a definite game changer
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize