He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
