I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
