Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
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Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
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the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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