Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
