Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
