I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize