He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
