last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
