Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
