You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
