She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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