Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
