I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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