life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
