The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You're breaking my sexual little heart
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
