good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
