He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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