and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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