He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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