Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I feel like death gave me a hand job
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
