That's intense
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
