BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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