isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I came so hard my ears popped.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize