I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
