I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
