Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
