Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
