Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He felt like a one man threesome
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
