I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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