Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
