I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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