I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
So apparently I’m into choking now
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