what day is it and did you see me today?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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