He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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