Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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