I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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