I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
so let's talk penis.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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