dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Dicks are not precious.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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