you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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