so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
