I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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