when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
