I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
