I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
