Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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