Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
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My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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