I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
