I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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