So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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