come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
