Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
