you guys were way drunker than both of me
Someone shit on the floor
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
