I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize