new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
