Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
