dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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