I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
