I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
